Just Quickly..

Found this on a pro-ana facebook group.. we could use it somehow..

Recipe for AnaRecipe:

Anorexia

Servings: One

Note: The recipe you are about to make is an acquired taste.

Ingredients:
1 cup low self-esteem
2 cup self-control
3/4 cup determination
1 1/2 strength
2/3 cup solitude
2 Tbsp routine
3 Tbsp secrecy and lies
2 tsp jealousy
3 tsp guilta dash of anger
and 1/2 cup tears (optional)

Directions:
Combine all ingredients and mix in a fragile soul.
Beat until all feeling is gone.
Place in a shallow bowl and serve with a tall glass of Diet coke.
Dish is ready to enjoy - guaranteed to disappear right before your eyes!!

Some Primary Research

Days since I last pissed

Cheeks sunken and despaired

So gorgeous sunk to six stone

Lose my only remaining home

See my third rib appear

A week later all my flesh disappear

Stretching taut, cling-film on bone

Im getting better.

4st 7lb - Manic Street Preachers

I wanted to do a touching poignant documentary about someone terminal ill. We settled for a topic that is current and relevant to people our age, and that coincidently helps with our CRS. Now I'm sitting here crying because it's all so horrific. Please bear in mind these girls are our ages, 16 - 19.

Sitting here last night I thought I should probably do some media.. (admitedly I have been neglecting it lately), so I decided to search facebook for some ED groups. I joined a few and left posts asking for any one who would be willing to answer a few questions about their ED. Already I have had a terrific response. Here's some of what the girls had to say..

"My depression was getting better for a while but now its getting worse. If I didn't have people in my life that I know would take it badly if I died I would kill myself. But I know thats selfish, and would be an easy way out. Its not so much that my life is too hard to deal with, because in reality I have a pretty freakin amazing life, and I'm in a good position in life; as well as being set up for success. But I can't help but think that all I have to do is screw up once and everything will be gone and I'll be back to the nothingness I started out to be. I don't know why I get so worked up and depressed about absolutely nothing. The point is, I do. This is how I am; and I have no idea how to cope with it all. I've tried psychotherapy...but it doesn't work for me. I've tried drug therapy, but the docs keep changing my meds and I'm just so f*cked up about all that. I love my life, but I hate this darkness that pulls me in. I want to kill this thing that exists within; but by doing that I'd also be taking my own life."

"Hi my name is jenny. I hate my body. I wish I was skinny, pl tell em that I look liek Im anorexic. But to me I am a fat pig! wihtout clothes I think that I look disgusting! They all sya Im skinny btu to me im sjut emdium I wanan be super skinny! Ive been anorexic for botu 2 yrs now. I don't do it all the time only evey now and then. when I eat too mcuh food. Im soo sry to those who ahev experienced the same thing! it's jsut the way I see myself. I rly rly rly wish I coudl see hwo ppl see me!" (ok she cant type but still)

"sometimes (like now, its pretty much constant) i would rather be thin and unhealthy than healthy."

"I am bulimic, have been for around a year and am starting to lose control since going to uni. I flatshare and my flatmates have worked me out already, though they don't confront me directly the walls are thin and I can hear them talking just as clearly as they can hear me.I now have one friend who makes me talk to her about it. I'm not used to anyone knowing my secret, she tells me I am just skin and bone- I know she says that because she knows it's what I want to hear. Secretly I hope that I am fading and the reason I feel and look so very fat is because of what I've always heard about ED distorting what you see in the mirror."

Anorexic beauty,

Feather-weight perfection,

Anorexic beauty,

Underweight Goddess.

Anorexia Beauty - Pulp

"Yes, i'll admitt, i had 'cut' myself a few times (fortunetlly not deep enough to leave a scar).I remember doing it cause i 'hated' myself.......i felt like i was the ugliest,fattest, dumbest & worthless person alive!!!I still often get it back in my head (now & again)only i stopped cutting cause i realize that,lol, that will only make me look worse(;& i know alot of people claim 'cutting' is for attention...but in alot of cases i know that is totally not true!!!"

"[about self harm] Yeah, only when I'm drunk though.. I usually wake up and not remember what I"ve done, I usually have words like 'fat fuck,' or 'ugly fat bitch'......or pictures of forks and what not cut into myself. It's kind of disturbing. I hate it. I really fuckin hate it.EDs have lead to so much more than just the eating thing.. Its gone to depression, isolation, alcoholism, self mutilation and other substance abuse. It's fucking retarded and I wish I could stop."

Research..

Not Perfect
Perfect I am not, nor will I ever be.

I don't know why people like me, I'm just being me.

I never get things done, I never get it right.

My life a constant battle, in which I loose the fight.

I see people living happy, showing a lot of pride.

Wanting to be like that, I begin to cry and hide.

Everyone seems so happy, wonderful and free.

For I will never be perfect like that, because I am only me.

Honestly I should put a warning on this blog. Googling things like 'proana' and 'thinspiration' are not advisable unless you are not shocked easily. This blog is just a whole bunch of random info for me and cat to come back to later. Makes pretty interesting reading though.

These websites even have mission statements, defending the information they provide to vulnerable young women.

Part of House of Thin's mission's statement -

"Pro-ana is NOT a bad thing, it is here to stay and helps out millions of people world wide. This and several other sites are living proof of that. Until others stop buying into the hype of misinformed media propeganda, and the recovery sites who are so insecure about themselves they have to attack us ... we will be here ... fighting for your rights to seek help on your own and make others see that anorexics and bulimics have the right to be treated fairly. It's time to stop the discrimination based on eating disorders, and stop the demonization of people who want to help. We are NOT the enemy ... the environment that causes eating disorders IS!"

As for Thinspiration websites.. there are definetly reoccuring names. Angelina Jolie, Nicole Richie, Mary Kate Olsen, & Paris Hilton are real 'thinspiring' for girls with an unhealthy desire to be thin. But it's photos like this..

...that are really disgusting. If ANYONE thinks that is attractive please could they step forward so I can smack them round the head with a blunt object!

There's loads on youtube.. these 2 videos are pretty good and should definetly come in handy for our documentary! This first one has a picture of the shot I want!!

Statistics..

• In 1950 mannequins closely resembled the average measurements or women. The average hip measurement of mannequins and women were 34 inches. By 1990 the average hip measurement was 37 inches, while the average mannequins hip measured only 31 inches.
• If today's mannequins were actual human women, based on their theoretical body-fat percentages they would have probably ceased to menstruate.
• The average U.S. woman is 5'4" and weighs 140 pounds. In contrast, the average U.S. model is 5'11" and weighs 117 pounds.
• Over the last three decades fashion models, Miss America contestants, and Playboy centerfolds have grown steadily thinner, while the average woman's weight has actually risen.
• Some of the pictures of the models in magazines do not really exist. The pictures are computer-modified compilations of different body parts.
• A study found that 25% of Playboy centerfolds met the weight criteria for Anorexia.
• Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today she weighs 23% less.
• Kate Moss is 5'7" and weights 95 pounds. That is 30% below ideal body weight.
• Suprmodels Niki Taylor and Elle Macpherson also meet the Body Mass Index physical criteria for Anorexia.
• Gisele Bundchen was Vogue's model of the year, in part the magazine states, because she strays from the rail-thin image. Gisele is 5'11" and weighs only 115, that is 25% below her ideal body weight
• Following the introduction of Western television in Fiji, there was a surge in the rate of eating disorders.
• One out of every four television commercials sends out some sort of message about attractiveness.
• 80% of women who answered a People magazine survey responded that images of women on television and in the movies make them feel insecure.
• Actresses Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz and singer Diana Ross all meet the Body Mass Index physical criteria for Anorexia.
• Model/Actress Elizabeth Hurley stated in Allure Magazine, "I've always thought Marilyn Monroe looked fabulous, but I'd kill myself if I was that fat."
• Pamela Anderson is 5'7" and weights 120 pounds. She is supposed to be the voluptuous ideal yet she is 11% below ideal body weight. In contrast, a generation ago Marilyn Monroe set the beauty standard at 5'5" and weighed 135 pounds. Today her agent would probably tell her she had to lose weight!

Also, worth remembering.. proanamia has a whole list of songs we could think about using..

Final Idea

Right well finally made some decisions and may as well just restart this whole blog!! Going to do a documentary.. with a topic as opposed to a subject (one person) because basically we don't know anyone interesting enough and we couldn't find a lorry for the Ardjan entering England reconstruction..

So linking to both mine and Cat's CRS (killing two birds with 1 stone and meaning all our work can count towards both) our topic is BODY IMAGE!! This ticks about a gizzillion boxes by being a current topic, affecting people our age at our school AND helps me and Cat with our CRS!

I want to get started ASAP cos we've decided we want as much time as possible to edit so here's our (not as incredibly long as I expected) to do list..

• Focus Group (For CRS and can be filmed..) - pictures of models, skinny and curvier, opinions of these? do they feel pressured to conform to these images? where does this pressure come from? etc
• Letter to GP/Eating Disorder professional/Eating Disorder organistations - beg for 2 minute interview. Send questions beforehand
• Collect stills of size zeros and curvier role models (eg Beth Ditto (yeah yeah I know Jake)).. to be used with voice overs from focus group
• Talk to parents/teachers - get adult view on debate

Now.. I really want to film a scene involving a young girl looking in the mirror.. and the mirror version is fatter that the real life one? I know mirrors like this exist but I doubt we can find one.. hmm...!!

Ideas and Opinions are welcomed (and begged for to be honest..I don't like the way Jake & James get waay more comments than us!)

Any one interested in being filmed/recorded and/or being in the focus group please let me or Cat know